You don’t have to thank me…I think you need to talk to Jeremy and sort it out with him. I know deep down he loves you.” I tell him.
He looks at me warily. “Do you think so? I wouldn’t love me after what I did to him.”
“You had your reasons, and if you explain them to him, maybe he’ll understand. Matthew, you are still his big brother to him.” I reassure him.
He smiles genuinely. “You are a good person Leyla, Jeremy deserves you. Can I apologise again?”
I shake my head but I smile kindly at him.
“Matthew, you sort of shown me my fears…with your words… you actually made me stronger, you made realise that I can be better than that.”
“They weren’t the truth though. I was out of line when I said them but they weren’t the truth.” He disagrees.
“It doesn’t matter, Matthew. I’ve had my fair share of the tough life; I know what it is like to not have anything to live for. I admit I almost took my life once before because of this,” I confess to him my deepest darkest secret that has been eating me for days.
I don’t know what has compelled me to do it but once the words came out, I can’t take them back now and I can’t stop myself from continuing.
“It actually was Greta who sort of stopped me, and it was through her pity that she took me in…After that I never wanted to go back to that low point of my life. I avoided thinking about… about killing myself at all cost.”
“And since I met Jeremy…well all those thoughts disappeared. He gave me… hope…something to live for. I love him more because of it.”
“You should tell him this. I may have missed most of my brother’s life events, but I know he’d like to hear you say those words to him and what you just told me.”
I stare skeptically at him trying to hide how scared I was to admit to Jeremy that I love him.
What if he didn’t love me back?
I have never been loved before; no one has ever loved me or wanted me. The woman who gave birth to me didn’t want me, the man who owned the foster home didn’t want me, the school I attended didn’t want me, people in the street I beg to didn’t want me; Greta didn’t want me either and it’s only been Jeremy that has uttered those words.
And now Matthew too.
I am afraid to put my guard down and tell Jeremy, I am afraid of his rejection because he is the only one that holds my delicate heart. He is the only one that can either love it back in return or crush it into pieces.
“Thank you, Leyla, for this for allowing me to apologise, for this talk. And I am keeping to my word; I will never disturb you again.” He says, smiling nervously at me.
“You’re welcome.” I tell him nervously too.
I know that this is a turning point here for the both of us. I am glad he has shared and apologised to me. Deep down I forgive him, but I know I still have my own predicaments to sort out before I fully can allow myself to let him in my life.
“I’ll leave you now; I have a muffin to finish.” He winks jokingly.
I laugh for his sake, knowing that Julie did catch his eyes too.
I am glad for this and I know this feeling is stemming from the fact that if he gives Julie a chance, then whatever feeling or want he has for me will hopefully fled. Because we both didn’t need it.
As I watch him leave, I feel a sense of weight being lifted off my shoulder.
“Home now, Miss…eh Leyla?” Mitch appears.
I smile at him as I nod. I let him open the door for me to enter and once I’m inside I check my phone to receive a picture message from Jeremy showing me his sad puppy face with the caption saying he misses me.
It’s that simply text message that wipes some of my earlier fears away and completes my day. I grin at my phone as I snap a picture of myself to reply him.
Later that evening, I take a bath, soothing my skin with the suds from the bath oils. One of Jeremy’s playlist plays in the background and I am talking to the man himself on my phone.
In the screen, he is in his hotel room, the light dimly lit to catch the rays of his messy chestnut brown hair, and those dark lustful eyes of his which affect even through a screen.
“Don’t touch yourself…” His voice is husky and in the screen he licks his lips.
“Jeremy.” I whine, knowing fully well how heavily turned on I was just from his earlier manifestation. Even through the phone he dominated me.
“Not until I say so,” he grins snidely and then sighs. “I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too; it’s been a long day.”
“I’m going to make it longer,” he says sultrily.
“Show me your neck.”
I giggle, moving my phone downwards so that the front camera catches the skin of my neck.
“Hmm,” he hums sexily.
“Imagine me there right now touching the base of your chin and moving down…”
My breath catches, my heart stops only for it to palpitate roughly in a fast endearing pace again.
“…to your collar bone, the skin on your chest. My lips replacing my hands now…”
I gasp his name, closing my eyes imagining and feeling exactly what his s*xy voice is doing to me.
“…My lips kissing that valley between your br**ts, my hands tweaking your nipples…” His breaths become laboured.
My ni***es hardens in response to his seduction and I feel them responding eagerly with the warmth water.
“Ahh…” I gasp.
“You feel it?” Jeremy asks
“Yes…” My fingers are itching to touch my body, to relief it from this wanton throbbing inside me.
“Hmm?” I close my eyes.
“You’re about to drop your phone in the water,” he chuckles.
I snap out of my trance straightening my hand to hold my phone out of the water.
Jeremy is laughing in the screen and I rejoice at the brightness of his features from his mirth.
“Ahh… perfect angle… I can see how tight your ni***es became.”
I scold him but I grin at him anyhow.
We both laugh as he tells me about his day and I refrain on telling him about the conversation I had with Matthew, not wanting to ruin this moment. And partly because Matthew himself wants to apologise to Jeremy.
I knew when he got back that they will have a very long heart-to-heart talk together. My heart, for once since knowing their conflict, feels slightly at peace at impending resolution in their relationship.
“The water is getting cold.” I complain.
He smiles, “Then get out.”
“I don’t want to drop your call,” I explain.
“So you’d rather freeze than stop talking to me?” He asks astonished.
I nod. “Yes.”
He grins. “Sounds like you have it bad, Leyla Levy.”
“You have no idea how bad, Jeremy Lawson.” I grin back as I allow myself to admit this; it’s not fully admitting all my feelings for him but this small confession doesn’t kill.
He shakes his head, “Get out of the water, Leyla. I don’t want you to get hypothermia,” he tries to sound serious.
“Ah the merriment of that sound.”
“What sound?” I ask confused.
I smile shyly.
“I mean it Leyla. Get out. Call me when you are all cozied up in warm sheets of our bed.” He grins.
I catch how he mentions “our bed” and inwardly my heart expands and swoons.
“Sir, Yes, sir.”
“If only I was there with you and you’d be screaming an apology for that remark you just pulled.” His words holds a promise and my insides tighten and liquidate.
I swallow. “I call you later.” My voice is a whisper, husky.
“You better.” He grins knowing how he just owned me in so many levels.
“Bye, baby.” I grin.
I catch the surprise and frown that pulls on his face at my endearment for him.
I laugh and hang up the phone not giving him any time to respond.
I dry myself off quickly smiling to myself as I saunter to his adjoined master bedroom whilst towel drying my hair.
I flop on the bed with my phone in hand and I cocoon myself in the warm sheets, trying to hide the fact that this will the first time sleeping in this bed without him present.
I execute the thought with the fact that I will have his face on my phone all night if have to, depending whether he is free tomorrow or not.
Whatever the case, all that matters to me at the moment is the knowledge that the love of my life still wants me even through all these miles of separation.
✍️To be continued ✍️
Oh…oh I smell an ending coming so soon.