Written By Kiari Horsfall
I open my eyes slowly to adjust the rays of sun passing through them.
“where am I” I mumbled and sat up on the bed.
I held my head with my palm. my head is aching so badly. what happened.
I scan the room and realize that I’m in the hospital.
“what am I doing here” I thought to myself and just then the door flew open. mom came inside alongside Thandi.
“Thandi find a nurse and tell them Debbie’s awake”
“Alright” Thandi says and walks out of the room
“how are you feeling now?” mom ask
“how did I end up here” I ask ignoring her question.
“you almost killed yourself Debbie. I just don’t know what’s running through that mind of yours. do you want to die and leave me here all alone” she asks almost breaking down.
“mom please not now. you don’t know what I’m going through” I told her
“how will I not know. you’re my daughter and I’m also a mother.
perhaps you don’t know the feeling of having just one child who constantly tries to commit suicide. don’t you know I’m affected?” she asks
I didn’t respond so I just turned to the other side
“I want it dead and I don’t care if my life’s on the line anymore cause it’s better I die than being the subject of mockery” I tell her and just then Thandi walked in with the doctor.
she examined my body and checked my pulse.
“I can’t believe you tried to kill yourself Debbie” the doctor says.
“I didn’t see you trying to help me out. so I did what I had to. I just hope the baby’s dead” I say plainly to her “how is she feeling now?” mom asks the doctor
“great and the baby is okay as well.
good thing you rushed her here on time or something would have happened to the baby or worse Debbie” she says to mom
“Debbie is fine now and out of danger” she adds.
“did I just hear you correctly? am I still carrying the baby”
“yes you are. Mrs Stack can I talk to you outside” the doctor says to mom
“Sure doc” mom reply and follows her
the walked out and shut the door while Thandi just stood there staring at me.
“Is everything ok doctor” Mrs Stack asks the doctor once they were outside
“you have to get rid of Debbie’s pain one way or another. I’ve seen many victims of teenage rape and believe me, it doesn’t go well” The doctor says
“I don’t understand”
“if Debbie doesn’t forget the pain soon, a lot of complications might come up. I know what she’s going through and why she keeps acting like this. she’s just a teenager, has a life ahead of her so this rape could a whole lot of trauma especially during birth if she hasn’t killed the baby then” the doctor says putting her hands in her pockets
“what do you suggest that I do?”
“She needs someone to talk to. so it becomes a part of her. I suggest therapy. a place she could really open up how she’s feeling inside cause somehow it’s been bottled up inside and I suggest you act fast before Debbie takes another drastic action that could end her life cause she’s not scared of death anymore”
“in the meantime, I’ll give you some drugs that Debbie should take so she doesn’t have complications in her early stage of pregnancy”
“Alright. I really appreciate”
“you’re welcome Mrs stack” she says as she gave a smile.
“I still can’t believe why this baby doesn’t want to die. I thought it’d be dead by now” I say to Thandi and just then Mom opens the door.
“Maybe the baby doesn’t want to” mom tells me
“I’ll have to get rid of it”
“can’t you see. if that baby was meant to go, it would’ve but it doesn’t.” mom tells me
“whatever. what did the doctor say? is she getting rid of it”
“she’s not getting rid of anything. aren’t you even listening?” mom yells at me
” you could die or your womb could get damaged. you’re talking about having a child at a tender age, have you ever thought what would happen, if you eventually got married and can’t produce a child for your husband” she says holding my hand in hers “Debbie please try to understand.
I will be here with you until you give birth instead of dying in an unforseen operation please” she begs
I removed my hands from hers but didn’t utter a word.
we went home after I got discharged from the hospital. I went up to my room to sleep. later, mom knocked on my door.
“come in its open” I tell her and she came in and sat down
“I’ve made dinner, come and eat and take your medications”
“I’m not taking any drugs, if that’s how I loose the baby then I’m willing to take that chance” I tell her
“Debbie please. you’re putting me in a very tight situation as it is. I know you’re hurting and I know it pains you to carry that child now but please you just can’t throw your life because of a baby” she tells me
I stood up to drink some water
“After giving birth, you can still go to school. I won’t stop you from achieving everything you planned on achieving so please try to help me as well Debbie” she begs and sniffs
“you’re crying?” I ask her
“well what do you want me to do when you’ve clearly signed a death wish for yourself?” she ask “please take this and I also booked you up for therapy sessions with Lady Anne. so please agree to this”
“Alright. don’t cry mom. I hate seeing you like this. I’ll go”
“I promise Mom”
“here” she says handing me some pills and a glass of water. I drank it and gave her the glass.
“that’s better” she gave a weak smile
“I want to go to school and write my exams mom” I tell her
“it’s not a problem sweetie. you can go then maybe after school, you go for therapy alright?” she asks and I nod
“I love you Debbie, don’t ever forget that”
“I love you too mom” I said hugging her tight as the tears rolled down my cheeks.