If you LOVE someone, Learn to accept Their past, DON’T hold it against them LATER…
I sat down in my room, I haven’t eaten or moved an inch from where I sat. I just stared out the window thinking about everything that just happened. I was betrayed by my best friend and the guy I’ve finally learnt to love doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.
My eyes were already damp and swollen from crying too much. I thought of deleting his number but will it help, when his name is already registered in my heart so I just dropped the idea.
I looked at the time, it was noon already. mom would be back soon with Casey.
I can’t wait to tell her about what I intend to do and I hope she supports me as well.
“The more we get together, the merrier we’ll be” I heard Casey’s voice from my room.
I rushed outside to meet them.
“Mommy” he smiled and ran to meet me immediately he saw me.
“How are you baby?” I asked taking him in my arms
“I’m good” he said and kissed my cheeks “I missed you very much mommy”
“I missed you too baby” I tell him and he winks at me. Naughty boy.
“Debbie why aren’t you at work” mom asks placing Casey’s bag on the couch.
“Casey I would like to talk to grandma and I want you to go change in your room OK” I say and he nods
“Alright mom” he said and ran inside his room
“Mom I need to discuss something with you and I want you to please listen okay?” I beg
she puts on a serious face and said “okay”
“I want us to leave this country and go back to South Africa please”
“Why? is it because of Nathan?” she asks stating the obvious
“Yes mom. I can’t live here anymore. I’m sick and tired of this place”
“Debbie we all have a life here. you can’t just expect us to pick up and move. have you given this a thought? what about Casey’s school and your job?” she asks
“I’ve quit already. I can’t work in a place where I’ll constantly run into him and we can find a good school for Casey over there. it’ll be fine. just the three of us” I say with pleading eyes
“mom please. just this once, I’m begging you”
She kept quiet for some minutes before finally saying “okay Debbie. if that’ll make you feel better then I’m in”
“thanks mom” I say hugging her and she kissed my hair
“We’re moving?” I turn to look at Casey with a sad face. I knelt on on one knee.
“yes baby we are.”
“but why? won’t I go to school anymore?’
” of course you will sweetie. and then mommy would find a good job and we can live happily ever after. don’t you want that?” I ask him. I know it’s wrong to bribe my kid but do I have a choice?
“but what about uncle Nathan?”
“Casey you have to forget about uncle Nathan. please”
“I’m sorry Mom” he apologize
“Tell you what? how about we take a tour of your favorite places one last time before we go. is that alright with you sweetie?” I ask and he gave a light nod
“Can we go tomorrow mommy?”
“Alright tomorrow it is” I say and he hugs me a little too tight
“I love you mommy”
“I love you too baby” I whisper to him.
I wish I didn’t have to lie to him like this but do I have a choice? I just hope that one day he’ll understand and realize that I did all this for him. he’ll realize how much I love him and how much I want him to be happy.
I will try my very best to be a great mom to him. I’ll play the role of both a dad and mom. he won’t miss his father, not one bit. cause I can’t bear to see my kid suffer. he means everything to me.
I would love him for the rest of my life, even if it means not getting married till eternity. I’m willing to take that risk.
The Next day, I booked our tickets for our flight to South Africa. I couldn’t wait to leave. I haven’t talked to Nathan and Thandi after my conversation with them yesterday and I didn’t care less anyway.
Even though I miss him a lot.
I took Casey out at noon to his favorite restaurant, Burgers Paradise and after that we went to a Toy store to get some toys. I’m just doing all this to make him feel happy that we’re moving.
“Mommy I want this one” he said pointing to a toy on the shelf.
“Casey, we can’t buy everything”
“but I want it” he whines
“if we get that then you won’t eat for the next one week” I tell him
“what happens if mom spends all the money buying toys for Casey?” I ask and he frowns
“please mommy. I won’t ask for another one. please” he begs swinging my hands and making puppy faces.
I couldn’t help but laugh
“Alright but just this one” I say and he smiles
we walked to the section to grab the toy when Casey shouted again
“mommy look. that’s the toy uncle Nathan bought for me last time” he say pointing at it. why did he call his name. I won’t be able to forget about Nathan if Casey constantly talks about him.
Just then I noticed him frown
“Baby what’s wrong?”
“I miss Uncle Nathan” he blurts out. his face looks so sincere. what spell did Nathan cast on my child
“Baby do you love your uncle Nathan?” I ask, not sure why I did but I just need some closure.
He nods “yes I do. he’s very nice and sweet and he looks good for mommy” he adds
“You talk too much these days” I roll my eyes
“mommy do you love uncle Nathan?” he asks.
“i… um… Casey you’re too young to ask these type of questions” I say trying to think of a lie to tell him like I always do. I wish I could tell him but he’s way to young to understand any of this.
“I bet you do” he says again
“I don’t Casey”
“of course you do. you love him just as much as you love me. I’m very sure of that mommy” he tells me
“Casey it’s just too complicated and I know you won’t understand but trust me, someday you will OK.” I say and he nods
“great now let’s get that toy” I say and took it from the shelf. they wrapped it up and after paying then we went to the park.
I sat down on the bench at the park as I watched Casey play with other kids then I opened my bag and brought out some fashion magazines and went through them. I later took my sketch pad and a pen to sketch some designs.
I was so engrossed in my work that I had no idea that Casey wasn’t there anymore.
I was busy with my work until someone threw a ball at me.
“Casey be careful. I’m trying to focus on something here” I yell but there was no response. usually Casey would say “yes or OK Mom but I didn’t hear any of that.
I raised my head to look at the playground but Casey wasn’t there.
” C-Casey” I stuttered.
I stood up and put my things in my bag and hanged it on my shoulder.
“Casey” I yell on top of my voice but he didn’t respond. Fear took his hold over me.
Where could he be? he’s not the type to walk around like this. what if someone took him? what if something bad happens to him?
OMG what will I do now? I asked myself. I walked round the park but still no sign of him. my eyes were already sweaty.
I picked my phone from my bag. I have to call mom. maybe he might be there. I dialled her number, my hands were all shaking. I was about to hit the call button when my eyes caught Casey. He was being carried by someone and he was laughing too.
“Casey” I call as I ran to meet him. he saw me and the person put him down and he also ran up to me. I hugged him pretty tight.
“Are you okay? were you hurt? huh?” I ask already crying
“I’m fine mommy”
“why did you run off like that? you left mommy. didn’t you know that I’d get scared and that I’ll look for you?” I ask him
“I didn’t go out with a stranger mom I promise”
“then who was it?”
“I went with uncle Nathan” he said pointing to the car. I raised my head to see him and his waved at me.
“why did you go with him?”
“We went to buy chocolates” he replied smiling
“Casey let’s go” I say holding his hand
“but uncle Nathan… ”
I cut him short “he’s not your uncle okay. we are your family and he’s not a part of it so from today, don’t ever go out with him alright” I yell
he frowns “Alright”
I held his hand and we started walking away.
Just then I heard footsteps behind us and before we knew it Nathan was already in front of me.
“what do you want?” I ask feeling irritated
“we need to talk?”
“about what? you’ve said what you want and i also said what I want. isn’t that enough? please leave me alone” I say and tried to go the other way but he blocked my path and stood in front of me..
“Move” I said angrily “and next time, don’t you dare try to touch Casey okay” I add
“Please hear me out okay. what is your problem?” he ask “can’t you see its hurting me as well. just take a good look at me, I haven’t slept ever since you told me that you’re leaving and this is how you’re reacting to it?” he adds.
I stare at his face.
his eyes had dark circles underneath which means he’s not lying.
“I still meant what I said yesterday” I tell him
“I know and I’m not here to change your mind but please you can’t walk out on us when we are this close to being together” he tells me
“So how is that my problem?’
” Look Debbie I don’t blame you for anything. I was wrong not to understand what you were going through. I should’ve known that your life wasn’t as perfect as mine and I’m a complete jerk…. ”
“No it’s not your fault. I should’ve just told you everything and believe me, I wanted to but I was very scared. the truth is that I was scared that I would loose you I didn’t want that. I’m sorry” I apologized
“I’m sorry too. I love you very much Debbie. I wasn’t sure about how I felt until yesterday when you left… ”
“Nathan I love you but I can’t be with you or anyone who can’t accept my child. he’s my son and i can’t love anyone at the expense of him” I tell him
“Debbie when I said I love you, I meant all of you including Casey and I’m willing to accept Casey as my own” he said and i felt the tears build up
“Nathan are you sure?” I ask in disbelief
“Come here little man” he said to Casey and he ran to meet him. Nathan carried him in his arms.
“I’m very sure Debbie” he adds “whatever happened wasn’t yours or Casey’s fault. everything happens for a reason so don’t blame yourself” he tells me
I felt the tears slide down my cheeks
“so let’s start from the beginning.
Hi I’m Nathan. what’s your name?”
“I’m Debbie Stack.” I say wiping my tears “I’m almost 23. I love clothes” i say about he chuckles
“so who could this cute boy be?”
“that’s Casey my son and I’m very proud of him. he means everything to me” i say and Casey giggles
“I like you Debbie. you’re very honest. will you go out with me?” he asks and i blush but recovered quickly
“Yes Nathan I will”
He opened his arms and i embraced him along with Casey. Then he kissed me on my lips.
“I love you Debbie”
“I love you too Nathan” I reply
Maybe he was destined to be mine after all.. I don’t know but I think it’s all better now. I’m just glad everything turned out perfectly…