Date: 25th, April, 2031.
Location: Tamara’s Hideout.
I stare at the water fall as it falls down in rhythm, surprisingly looking at the waterfall makes me calm. Though my thoughts are still centered at what happened at Frederick’s Mansion, how I was so much afraid of Frederick, how I felt so weak and not in control. And now I realize it had something to do with Henry, I should have know all along that Henry’s sudden change was all a ploy to own me, every single thing he did was all mind games and now I find it hard to believe Jason doesn’t know my husband, he described Henry in words that are so accurate, because indeed my husband is a manipulative bastard.
“I saw your text, what do you want to discuss.”
Without turning my head back, I knew it’s Jason I invited him here, anyway.
“You didn’t visit me not even once.” I said a little bit hurt, but I still didn’t turn to look at him.
“I’ve been busy.” Jason replies and I hum in response.
“Well I called you here for you tell me the truth.”
“What truth.” He replies bored.
“Don’t play mind games with me Jason, I know you’re hiding something away from me and I want to know what that is.” I said and this time I turned to look at him, he looks so dashingly handsome. My inner self purrs.
Get a grip of yourself , we’re here to grill the truth out of him not to discuss how handsome he is. I warned her and shut her out of my mind.
“Curiosity killed the cat, Cara. Are you sure you want to know.” Jason ask his eyes staring attentively at him.
“Ignorance also kills, Jason. I want to know.” I retort deadpan.
“Fine, I’ll tell you but please don’t hate me.” Jason says and I had a really bad feeling at the pit of my stomach, what could he possibly know that will make me hate him. I wondered.
“I can’t promise.” I reply.
“That’s fair I guess.” He says and I could see a little bit of fear in his eyes.
“Just spit out already Jason, I don’t have all day.” I said impatiently.
“I’m a spy, working for your husband.” Those simple but heavy words he said, knocked the air out of my lung, living me shocked and breathless.
“All those evidence you found, the newspapers, restricted library was all him, he made all your mission successful.”
My eyes bulged out in shock, all this while I thought I was in total control of every single thing I did but I was nothing but a pawn in Henry’s mind game, he made me belief I was in total control, how could I have been so stupid every single thing I had always done was all so easy, and nothing ever comes easy in life.
“Cara I’m…. sorry.” Jason apologize and tries to touch me but I step back in immediately and he tightens his fist in anger. “Fine I’ll let you be but I hope you know that I didn’t mean for any of these to happen, I’m a trained spy and I had to do what I was paid to, but I just want you to know that I truly do care about you and that’s not a lie.” Jason says and left me all alone with my broken heart.
I ran through the forest were Tam’s hideout is located, I ran not really knowing were I’m going, I just want to be far away from reality. Tears streams down my face as I ran deep into the forest, my foot hits a mini rock and I fell immediately and I laid down there crying the more, all my life whenever I fell down I always got up back on my feet but not this time, not today. I don’t have the strength to stand up and face the world again.
All this while I’ve been living a lie Henry made, he made me feel totally in control, he made feel I had everything in control but I don’t. I’m just another weak girl, another fragile girl and I fell for Henry trap. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always yearn for love and care from Frederick and that’s why I’m so close to Ethan cause he cares so much for me but that didn’t amount to the fatherly love I akways wanted and that’s why I search for such love at every other male in my life and my freaking manipulative husband used that against me, he made me believe in the illusion that he really did love and care for me.
I realize now my mum was right, that the men are right, we women are weak and stupid, who was i kidding, I don’t have what it takes to change the rules of this world, I don’t have what it takes to free us the women species, I don’t have what it takes to fight men.
More tears spills out from my eyes as I take in my pityful self, sitting down on the grass, then the rains started but that didn’t send me home, instead it felt like the universe is showing me how much of a sore pathetic loser I am. I GIVE UP.